Child Of Mine
by LovelyLene
Summary: Hank and Sully are traveling to Denver to make sure Zack is safe from John Kerrigan. But will Zack really be safe? Sequel to Past Fears. FINAL CHAPTER UP!
1. Chapter 1

Alright, alright! I give in… (holding hands up in defense) Some of my fans are scaring me… Just kidding! Here is the first chapter of the sequel… I hope you all like it!

English is not my native language and I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes… I'm sorry! But if you want to apply for the job as my beta reader… Be my guest!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does… But I do own the character of Jonas "John" Kerrigan!

**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...

**Warnings:** This is NOT a very happy story! So, don't like… don't read... This story is the sequel to "Past Fears". If you haven't read that story I suggest you do that first. Otherwise this story won't make a lot of sense… I think…

**Summary: **Hank and Sully are traveling to Denver to make sure Zack is save from John Kerrigan. But will Zack really be safe?

**Chapter 1**

It had been a long journey to Denver… at least Sully thought so. Sully knew he wasn't a talker himself, but Hank had spoken even less! Sully had felt uncomfortable during these long silences, however, a part of him understood why Hank didn't feel like talking. Having a maniac threatening your son must keep your mind real occupied. Sully had been relieved as they had finally arrived in Denver, a town that reminded him a lot of Boston. It was a lively place, much bigger than Colorado Springs, with huge buildings made of stone. Like in Boston, the population of the town could be divided into two groups: wealthy and poor. The differences were clearly visible, which saddened Sully. He wondered how it could be possible that in a town like this people could still be poor.

However, he didn't have a lot of time to dwell on it as Hank, who had delivered their horses at a stable, immediately went off in the direction of the art school. Sully had no choice but to follow him. He wondered what went through Hank's mind. He could only imagine what it would be like to know that your son was in great danger. He thought about the last two weeks; about what had happened. He thought back to the story Hank had told him. A story about Hank's past… A story about John Kerrigan. A man who had seemed so nice, but who had turned out to be dangerous and untrustworthy. A man who was now after Hank's son. At least, that was what he had made everyone believe. Sully wondered about what they would find at the art school. Would it be too late? Or would Zack be alright? He sighed. He couldn't help but to feel a little nervous. He looked at Hank and noticed the man was tense. His facial expression was normal though. That was just like Hank, not letting the outside world know what he truly felt.

They approached a huge building with an even bigger yard around it. At the gate there was a sign which said "Denver Art School". They were at the right place. "Can I help you sir?" a man in uniform asked Hank. "I'm here to visit my son," Hank answered, "His name is Zack Lawson." The man nodded and opened the gate. As they walked in the direction of the building Sully felt the man's eyes on him. Of course the man thought he looked funny; a white man in Indian clothes, in a city no less! Sully couldn't care less about it. He watched the man in front of him who seemed to get more tense with every step he took. After a couple of minutes they finally reached the entrance of the enormous building. Hank looked at Sully briefly before opening the door and inhaled deeply. Sully gave him a quick nod and then Hank opened the door.

They immediately got reminded of the fact that they were inside of a school as children of various ages were walking around chattering to each other about all kinds of things. Sully couldn't help but smile. The sound was like music to his ears, especially after the long uncomfortable silences he had experienced during his journey with Hank. "Gentlemen," a woman called to them. She walked towards them. She was tall, not thin, but not fat either. She had long dark brown hair that flowed beautifully over her shoulders. Her eyes were big, dark and sparkling and even though Hank had other things on his mind right now, he couldn't help but to stare at her in amazement. She was beautiful! "Sir?" the woman asked again. Sully gave Hank a little pat on his arm which brought Hank out of his trance. "Oh… eh…" he started, not knowing what else to say. _Zack!_ He thought suddenly which brought him back to reality. "I'm looking for my son," he stated. She looked at him questioningly. "And what is his name?" she asked. "Zack Lawson," Hank answered, "Can ya tell me where I can find him?" She nodded and gave him a flashing smile. Hank smiled back, but he had his mind on other things. _Maybe later… _he thought, _when I'm sure that Zack is alright… _"Follow me," she said and walked away from the two men. As they followed her, Sully asked: "Have you seen him?" The woman shook her head. "No, not today, but usually he's in his room," she said and for the first time both men noticed that the woman spoke with a Spanish accent. "Do you know if anyone else has visited him in the last few days?" Sully asked. Hank's head jerked up as Sully asked the question. Hank had thought about asking the question, but had decided not to because he was afraid of what the answer would be. "I don't know," the woman said, "there are so many children at this school, I can't keep up with who visits who." They had to climb up a few stairs and then got into a long hallway with at least 20 doors. "He's in room 74," the beautiful woman said. "Thank you, Miss…" Sully said wanting to know her name. "Elena," she said with a smile and then turned around and walked away.

Sully heard Hank inhale deeply again before he decided to search for his son's room. Hank was unbelievably nervous. He felt his heart beating in his throat and he broke into a cold sweat. Sully also had a bad feeling and felt a knot of fear in his throat. Again they were silent as they walked passed the doors. 63, 64, 65… Hank swallowed as they got closer and closer… 68, 69, 70… He clenched his fists as he approached the room he was looking for… 72, 73, 74… Both men stood still before room 74. Hank looked at Sully with fear in his eyes. He didn't bother to hide it now. Sully laid a hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring nod. Hank finally raised his hand an knocked on the door. They waited for someone to answer it, however, the door stayed closed. Hank knocked at the door again, louder this time. Again there was no answer.

Hank hesitated before grabbing the doorknob and opened the door slowly. Both men entered the room and looked around. There were a lot of drawings and painting hanging on the wall. Many of them were of people he knew. He saw one of himself and one of Dr. Mike and even one of Myra. Hank had to smile when he saw that drawing. If she only knew how she had stolen the hearts of TWO Lawson-men. "He's not here," Sully said. Hank nodded, but again didn't say a word. His eyes had found a drawing which took his breath away. Sully followed Hank's gaze and then saw what Hank was looking at. It was a drawing of Hank and Clarice with their son. Hank and Clarice held each other closely, but they both had one hand on Zack's shoulder. Hank bowed his head. He would give anything to give Zack a proper family again; to give Zack a mother again. "It's beautiful," Sully said softly. "Yeah…" Hank said and looked at Sully briefly and then walked passed him.

Hank was about to open the door again as he heard a little noise on the other side of the door. He looked at Sully who was searching for a heavy object to lash out at whoever was coming through. Hank stood behind the door and tried not to make a sound. The door finally opened… Hank didn't hesitate for a moment and grabbed the person who entered the room from behind and put his hand over the person's mouth. Sully, who had finally found something heavy enough to strike with, looked at the little person in Hank's arms and smiled. Hank noticed Sully's change in facial expression and let go of the person in front of him. The person turned around to take a good look at his captor. "Pa…"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elena was outside ordering the children to go inside. It was getting dark and dinner would be served in a couple of minutes. "Dinner time!" she called, "Everyone inside, or you'll have no food at all!" She smiled as the children waved at her and went inside as she had asked. She waited until the last child had gone inside before going inside as well. She was about to close the door when she felt someone pushing against it from the other side. She opened the door again and saw a man standing there. It was a fine looking man, decent and well-groomed. And even though the man looked old enough to be her father, she thought he was very handsome. "Good evening," she said, "what can I do for you?" The man smiled gently at her. "I'm the new teacher," the man said, "haven't they told you I'd be coming in today?" Elena shook her head. "I'm John Wilson, the new English teacher," he said and offered her his hand. She gave him a flashing smile. "I'm Elena," she said, "I'm not a teacher around here, but I try to take care of the children… Make them feel at home." She took his hand and shook it gently. "I'm sure you're doing a good job," he said, "Do you have a room for me where I can put my things?" Elena nodded. "Of course! Follow me!" She walked down the hallway in the direction of the stairs. John couldn't help but stare at her as he followed her exotic movements with his eyes. Then he walked into the same direction. _I think I'm going to like it here! Not just the Lawson boy within my reach but also a beautiful woman... _He smiled at the thought. _But first things first… I'm here for Zack Lawson… First I'll take care of him… After that there will be plenty of time to get acquainted with the beautiful lady…_

TBC

Well, tell me what you think of it! Hit the review button, please!


	2. Chapter 2

English is not my native language and I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes… I'm sorry! But if you want to apply for the job as my beta reader… Be my guest!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does… But I do own the character of Jonas "John" Kerrigan!

**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...

**Warnings:** This is NOT a very happy story! So, don't like… don't read... This story is the sequel to "Past Fears". If you haven't read that story I suggest you do that first. Otherwise this story won't make a lot of sense… I think…

**Summary: **Hank and Sully are traveling to Denver to make sure Zack is save from John Kerrigan. But will Zack really be safe?

**Chapter 2**

"Pa!" Zack said as he recognized the man who had grabbed him. "Zack!" Hank called out. He was trying real hard to hide the relief that was washing over him. He embraced his son and squeezed his shoulders lightly. _Thank God, you're alright!_ Hank thought, then got aware of the fact that they weren't alone and immediately let go of his son. Sully shook his head in amusement and silently dropped the object he had found to strike 'the intruder' with. "So… eh… How are ya?" Hank asked a little uncertain. "F-Fine, Pa…" Zack answered softly. He still spoke slowly and he stuttered from time to time, but it didn't bother Hank anymore. He was proud of his son.

He thought back to that particular day, when Michaela had found Zack at Mrs. Jonson's place and decided to bring him into town. The townsfolk, however, didn't want him around, because they thought he wasn't 'normal'. They had called Zack a simpleton. Hank closed his eyes at the memory. He remembered being furious at the time. He'd also felt guilty, for not giving the boy the home he deserved. He still felt guilty about it. He wished he could give him a proper home and a mother… a family.

"Wh-What are y-you doing h-here?" Zack asked curiously. His father never visited him without letting him know first. "Well, we were just in the neighborhood…" Hank started, but the look in Zack's eyes told him the boy wasn't buying it. Hank shrugged his shoulders in defeat. Sully chuckled, which gave Hank a reason to change the subject. "I brought Sully!" he said and saw his son's face lighten up even more. Zack had already seen Sully the moment he had walked through the door, but hadn't been able to pay any attention to it as he was brutally grabbed from behind. Now that he knew who his captor was he happily turned around to greet Sully. Hank smiled. It was good to know that there were other people besides him that cared about his boy. "Wow, you've grown since the last time I saw ya!" Sully said. Zack smiled shyly. "I-Is Brian h-here too?" he asked softly. Sully shook his head. "No, he had to go to school, maybe next time, alright?" Zach nodded and turned his attention back to his father.

"S-So… W-Why are y-you here?" he asked again. _Damn, _Hank thought, _and they call him a simpleton… _ Hank sighed deeply. He wondered whether he should tell Zack what was going on. He looked over at Sully, who remained quiet. "Zack," he started, "when I give ya a description of what a person looks like… can ya draw him then?" Zack looked at his father questioningly, not completely understanding where it all was leading to. "Can ya?" Hank asked again. Zack nodded. "Good," Hank continued, "It shouldn't be that hard 'cause you've met him once already. Ya remember a man called John Kerrigan?" Zack shook his head. Hank cursed inwardly. "He must have used another name," Sully stated. Hank nodded in agreement. "Okay, I'm going to describe him for ya and I want ya to draw him," he said to his son. Zack sat down at his desk where he had his drawing instruments. "Okay," Hank said, "here it goes…"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

John stood in the hallway, in front of the door of his room, and looked around. The building was enormous and he had a feeling that he would easily get lost in it. He scratched behind his ear, wondering which way would lead to the dining room. "I hope you're not going to stand there all night, supper will get cold," he heard a female voice say. His head jerked up and he saw the beautiful Elena standing a few feet away from him. He smiled at her. "I'm sorry" he said, "I was about to go downstairs, but I have to admit… I can't remember which way I got here… This building is huge!" Elena had to laugh. Her laugh was warm and fond. John couldn't help but to laugh as well. "Come with me," she said and turned around in one fluent move, "I got lost in here many times as well… But you'll get the hang of it!" John followed her, watching her every move, listening to the sound of her voice. It had been a long time since he was in the company of such a beautiful lady. He thought back to Michaela Quinn. She was very charming and beautiful, a classy woman from the city. However, compared to this Elena… Elena possessed a beauty he had never seen before. And he was determined to make her his. _But first things first…_ he thought once more…

"You are lucky," Elena said to John as they entered the dining room, "one of the children just got a visit from his father, so he won't be joining us tonight… Which means there is room for a guest now!" She smiled at him and led him to an empty chair at the table. Then she turned her attention to the children who were watching John curiously. "Children," she said, "Please welcome your new English teacher Mr. Wilson." "Welcome Mr. Wilson!" the children said simultaneously. "Thank you," John said softly and looked around hoping to find the child he was looking for, however, he wasn't there. "Well," Elena said, "we'll save the introductions for later! Let's eat before it gets cold!" A cheer went up from the group of children as they were finally allowed to fill their empty stomachs. John, however, was still looking around, not understanding why the Lawson boy wasn't there. "Something on your mind?" Elena asked. John looked up. "Uh no… I was just wondering who the boy was that should be sitting here… but I'm sure I'll meet him soon enough," he said. Elena smiled. "I'm sure you'll meet him! Zack is one of the most talented boys we have in this school… But his father is here now, so…" John didn't here her finish her sentence. _Well, well… isn't this interesting? So Hans got here before I did… Well, I like a challenge! Let's see who will win…_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Zack did his best to follow his father's instructions. It took a while, but the result was astonishing. Hank held the drawing in front of him and was amazed how well the man in the drawing resembled John Kerrigan. He felt anger building up inside of him, but he was able to stay in control. He showed the drawing to Sully. "It looks just like him," he said. Hank nodded and gave the drawing back to Zack. "I'm sure you're wondering why ya had to draw this," Hank said to his son. Zack nodded as Hank sat down on a chair. "This man is dangerous, Zack," he started, "he's someone from my past… It's a very long story, which I'm not going to tell ya right now…" He was silent for a moment. "The point is… he hates me… He thinks I did something to him and he wants revenge… And I'm afraid that he'll go after you…" Hank said softly. Zack looked at him a little scared and confused. "I don't want to scare ya," Hank said, seeing the fear in his son's eyes, "but still… I have to warn ya… If ya see this man… I want ya to get away from him as fast and as far as you can…" Zack nodded. "Y-You're not g-going away, a-are you?" he asked. Hank's heart nearly broke as he looked into the pleading eyes of his boy. "No… we won't…" he looked at Sully, "at least I won't… not until I'm sure you're safe…" Zack threw himself in his father's arms and held on to him for dear life. Hank held him tight and vowed to himself that he would not let John get near his son. "I won't let him hurt you," he whispered, "I won't…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jake walked past the telegram office as Horace called out to him: "Jake! I've got some telegrams and letters here for you! I think they're from the U.S. Government!" Jake turned around immediately and made his way to Horace. "Well, give them to me then," he ordered. Horace nodded and quickly grabbed all the letters and telegrams he had lying around. Jake rolled his eyes but said nothing. "Lets see," Horace said, as he searched the big pile of paper. "I got one here… and here…. oh and here!" He handed the letters over to Jake, who was clearly annoyed with Horace's chaotic behaviour. "Thanks," he said and took the letters from Horace. He immediately opened the letters. He had been waiting for this information for almost a week now. He knew these things usually took a lot of time, mostly two or three weeks, but he couldn't help being very curious to know what was going on with this John Kerrigan. Ever since he had spoken with Hank, he kept thinking about it. And now was the moment of truth… He read the letters carefully. _Oh my God…_ he thought. He couldn't believe what he had just read. Just to be sure he read it again and again… "Oh my God," this time he said it out loud. Horace watched him closely. "Is there something wrong?" he asked with concern in his voice. Jake looked at Horace and said: "If you get any more letters like these, I want you to give them to me immediately!" he ordered. Horace nodded. "Okay… I will!" Jake turned around and walked away quickly. He needed to see Michaela. She needed to know what he had just found out… Sully and Hank had been right all along about John Kerrigan. _Even more than they thought…_

TBC

Pfew… What is it with chapters 2 and 3? I always have difficulty writing them. Well, I hope I haven't messed up to badly… Let me know what you think! I need reviews… lots and lots of them… Chapter 3 is coming up soon!


	3. Chapter 3

English is not my native language and I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes… I'm sorry! But if you want to apply for the job as my beta reader… Be my guest!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does… But I do own the character of Jonas "John" Kerrigan!

**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...

**Warnings:** This is NOT a very happy story! So, don't like… don't read... This story is the sequel to "Past Fears". If you haven't read that story I suggest you do that first. Otherwise this story won't make a lot of sense… I think…

**Summary: **Hank and Sully are traveling to Denver to make sure Zack is safe from John Kerrigan. But will Zack really be safe?

**Chapter 3**

Michaela was standing in her kitchen preparing diner as she heard someone knock on the door. "One moment, please!" she called and took off her apron. When she opened the door she was surprised to see Jake standing there. "Jake!" she said, surprise evident in her voice. "What's wrong?" she asked a little worried. Jake would never visit her except if there was something wrong. "Dr. Mike," he greeted her, "I've just received some important information about John Kerrigan… information I think you should know about…" He looked very serious which didn't really take Michaela's worries away. "What kind of information?" she asked. Jake sighed and pointed at a chair. "Let's sit down first." Michaela nodded and sat down at the diner table. Jake took place in a chair opposite.

"Hank and Sully were right," Jake started as he got some letters from his pocket, "John Kerrigan cannot be trusted." Michaela looked at Jake. "I already knew that," she stated. Jake looked at her a little confused, but decided to continue. "But I don't think you know how right they were… I don't think Hank and Sully even know that," he said. His face was dead serious which scared Michaela. "What was in those letters, Jake?" she asked softly. Jake sighed deeply, looking at the letters in his hand. "They were from the United States Government," he said and hesitated before saying: "The man is dangerous Dr. Mike… He's wanted in at least six states and not just for fraud… He's wanted for murder…"

"Oh my God!" Michaela exclaimed and shook her head. "That's not all," Jake said softly and got another letter from his pocket. "I got this one from the Norwegian Government… It contains a summary of his medical and criminal file… from the time he lived in Norway… Did you know that he is Hank's stepfather?" Michaela nodded her head. "Right…" Jake said, "then I assume you know the rest of the story as well… about the so called accident that got his children killed?" Michaela nodded again. "Hank told Sully about it… John blames Hank for their deaths," she informed Jake. "Yeah," Jake replied, "That's what this file is about… After his children's deaths he tried to hurt Hank as much as he could… The authorities often spoke to him about it, but he always denied that he'd hurt him… The authorities however, had no real proof that he DID hurt Hank so they were never able to arrest him for it… When Hank was sixteen his mother died… he ran off and ended up here in America… However, this particular little fact drove John over the edge… From that moment on John has almost searched the whole world for Hank… Unfortunately, not without casualties…"

Michaela listened to Jake's story and was completely stunned by it. The situation was even worse than she thought. "Casualties?" she asked hesitantly. "John was so blinded by his hate, that he saw Hank in every tall, blonde, longhaired man… He has hurt and even killed a few of these men…" Jake said keeping his eye on Michaela. She just kept shaking her head in disbelief. How she had misjudged this John Kerrigan. How the man had fooled them all! She just couldn't believe it… "There's more," Jake said softly, feeling a little guilty that the enormous load of horrible information just didn't seem to end. "John was treated by a psychiatrist a few years ago… back in Norway… He got arrested after hurting one of those men I told you about… Well, he told this psychiatrist about his hate for Hank… and that he wouldn't rest until he'd have his revenge…" Jake was quiet for a while not really knowing how to say what he was about to say. "He told him the best revenge would be to kill Hank's own children before Hank's eyes… He would love to see Hank's face if he did that… He had told his psychiatrist he would do anything to make that happen… He would let nobody get in his way…" Jake kept silent as Michaela was trying to make sense of what Jake had just said.

"What I'm trying to say is that the man is more dangerous than anyone thought," Jake said, "Sully and Hank went to Denver, didn't they? They went after him…" Michaela looked at Jake. She looked miserable. "No," she said, "I mean… Yes, they went to Denver… but just to make sure that Zack is safe!" They were both silent for a while. Then it hit Michaela. "He won't be safe, will he? Neither of them will be safe… John will get what he wants… even if he has to kill all three of them!" she felt tears welling up in her eyes. Jake gave her a sympathetic look, but had to admit that she was right. "I'm afraid so," he said softly. "We have to go after them," Michaela said suddenly and started to grab some things. Jake nodded. "I totally agree," he replied," But are you sure you want to go? This can be dangerous…"

"Sully is there," she said, "I can't just sit here and do nothing! I have to help him… warn them both before it's too late… There's too much at stake here…" She was quiet for a moment but then said: "Too many lives…" Her voice was soft but determined and Jake knew that fighting her right now would be of no avail. "Alright," he said, "then let's go!" Michaela nodded and packed the last few things as fast as she could. "What about your children?" Jake asked suddenly. "I'll ask Matthew," Michaela replied as she grabbed her medical bag. Jake looked at her and frowned. "Just in case…" she answered. She then grabbed her coat and got outside. Jake followed her and closed the door. He had a bad feeling about all this… a very bad feeling…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hank stood in front of the art school and watched the children play on the playground. He never thought he could get so much joy out of watching this. _I must be getting old,_ he thought and smiled to himself. "What's so funny?" he heard a female voice asking. He looked up into the beautiful dark eyes of Elena. "Nothing," he said casually, then grinned. Elena had to laugh. She had to admit, the man was very charming. "Thanks for letting us stay here," Hank said to her. "You're welcome," Elena replied. She had offered Hank and Sully a room inside the school for a few days, so that Hank could see his son more often. They were both very grateful. It meant they could keep an eye on Zack more.

"So," Elena started, "what's the deal with you two anyway? I mean, I've seen many overprotective parents around here, but this definitely tops everything!" Hank was a little bit taken by surprise by her statement and immediately fell back in his old habits. "None of ya business lady!" he said in a gruff voice. "Well, you're at my school, so it kind of is my business," she challenged him. Hank gave her a dangerous look, however, she didn't seem to be impressed by it. "You're obviously here to check on your son," she continued, "but I think there is more… Are you an outlaw?" Again Hank was stunned. He had been called many things in his life, but an outlaw hadn't been one of them. "No," he replied, "I ain't an outlaw… Now mind yer own business." Elena gave him a thoughtful look. "Hm… well, if you aren't an outlaw, then maybe you know one… You obviously think your son is in danger from someone… and if that is true, don't you think this school has a right to know? There are other children living here as well… Do you want to put them in danger too?" Elena looked Hank straight in the eyes.

_Damn, _Hank thought, _what is it with women these days… Can't hide anything from them! _He sighed and gave Elena an annoyed look. She couldn't help but laugh at it. "Oh, what is it with you men!" she said shaking her head, "you all have too much pride… that's not good you know… It'll only get you into trouble!" Hank melted at the sound of her voice. Her Spanish accent was like music to his ears, as was her laugh! He grinned at her, which made her laugh even louder. "You're quite a looker, aren't you?" she asked cheekily. "Ya ain't seen nothing yet," he replied amused. He couldn't remember the last time he had met a lady as beautiful and charming as this one. "Let's go inside," she said with a smile, "You can tell me your story." To his own surprise he did as she had asked and followed her inside. _Man, I really must be getting old… I let a lady order me around… But she's a beautiful lady… and charming… and funny… _For the second time that day he smiled to himself. And for the first time in weeks he felt quite happy and content. Maybe, for once, things were looking up…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

John was in his room, pacing the floor. He had seen the exchange between Hank and Elena, and it had made him furious. _Why do you always have to interfere? Why do you always have to mess up my plans? You WILL get what is coming to you Hans! Tonight! Tonight I will get to your son! We're going to play a nice little game of hide-and-seek… _He laughed at the thought. It was an evil sounding laugh, one that would bring chills down someone's spine. _Elena will be mine and so will Zack… We will see who has the last laugh…_

TBC

Okay, I had to squeeze this one out as well… maybe it's a little bit boring, but I promise you… I'll make it up to you! Thank you for all the reviews! It's good to see that I still have a few loyal readers. Please let me know what you think of this chapter…


	4. Chapter 4

English is not my native language and I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes… I'm sorry! But if you want to apply for the job as my beta reader… Be my guest!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does… But I do own the character of Jonas "John" Kerrigan!

**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...

**Warnings:** This is NOT a very happy story! So, don't like… don't read... This story is the sequel to "Past Fears". If you haven't read that story I suggest you do that first. Otherwise this story won't make a lot of sense… I think…

**Summary: **Hank and Sully are traveling to Denver to make sure Zack is safe from John Kerrigan. But will Zack really be safe?

**Chapter 4**

"If everything goes right, we'll be in Denver tonight," Jake said to Michaela. She just nodded at him. To Michaela their journey to Denver seemed to take forever. She kept thinking about all the things that could have happened to Sully and Hank already… and not to mention Zack. She tried to stay calm; however, she didn't really succeed. It didn't help one bit that she had children of her own. She imagined how she would feel if someone would be after Brian or Colleen… She shivered at the thought. _I'd go crazy…_ she thought to herself.

Jake looked at her questioningly. "What are you thinking about?" he asked. The sound of his voice startled Michaela. "What… oh… Nothing really…" she said and lowered her head. "You shouldn't worry about it so much," Jake said. Michaela shook her head and looked at him. "I know… but I can't help it… What if we are too late, Jake?" Jake saw tears welling up in her eyes and his heart sank. "I just try not to think about that," he said softly, "It wouldn't be good for anyone if we panicked right now… Their lives may depend on us… We just have to try to stay calm… for them…" Michaela listened to his words and knew he was right. Still, she couldn't get rid of that enormous knot in her stomach... the bad feeling that something awful was going to happen. She couldn't get it out of her head… and nor could Jake.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hank looked at the people around him and shook his head. _I can't believe I'm actually doing this…_ he thought and then looked back at the beautiful lady who was sitting across from him. She smiled at him. "What's on your mind?" Elena asked him. Hank grinned. "Just wondering how the hell ya got me to have dinner with you in such a classy restaurant," he said to her. She had asked him to go with him earlier today and to his own surprise he had said 'yes'. And here he was, feeling a little uncomfortable in this very classy restaurant with very classy people. The food had been good though, he looked at his empty plate. "You don't like it?" she asked. "Well… let's just say that classy restaurants and me usually don't go together," he said. Elena laughed. Oh, how he loved her laugh! He couldn't help but to laugh as well. "Let me guess," she said, "You are more a saloon-kind-of-guy." Hank lowered his head a little. "You could say that," he said softly, "I own one…"

Now was the moment of truth. He had just told her what he did for a living and he knew that most people were disgusted with jobs like that. Especially people from the city… he had learned that the hard way… He looked at her closely, watching every expression on her face. "So that means that I get free drinks then," she said cheekily. She couldn't help but to laugh again when she saw the surprised look on his face. "Ya don't mind?" he asked a little uncertain. "What? Free drinks? Are you kidding me!" she gave him a flashing smile. Hank grinned. "No, I meant me being a saloon owner," he said. Elena gave him a serious look. "I don't care what you do for a living, as long as you are a nice man, a good man, who treats people right and cares for his fellow-man. And I think you are such a man," she said to him. Hank shook his head. "Then I don't think ya know me very well…" he looked her straight in the eyes with a bitter look on his face. Again she smiled at him.

"If you mean that you can be grumpy, and rude, and arrogant and a bit selfish from time to time… Stubborn, unreasonable and high-spirited…" as she spoke she watched Hank's face closely. He was desperately trying to control his temper. She suddenly grabbed his hand. "I already know these things about you," she started, "I've seen it these last few days… But you know what? Nobody's perfect… And I know that deep down inside you ARE a good man… Otherwise you wouldn't be here protecting your son from a madman." Hank closed his eyes as he heard her speak. He had told her his story earlier that day. She had listened to him and even comforted him as he had told her how scared he was for his son. And now she was talking to him again, holding his hand, telling him he was a good man. He opened his eyes again and looked at Elena. She was still holding his hand, rubbing his fingers with her thumb. He didn't say a word to her… he just couldn't. She smiled at him. "You know," she began, "Men like you keep this life interesting… Imagine that every man on this earth would be sweat and kind, never yelling or fighting or arguing… I think the world would be pretty boring, don't you think?" Hank thought about her words and imagined a world full of Horaces. He shook his head and laughed. "I don't think 'boring' is the right word," he said. Then he saw the confused look on Elena's face and said: "Never mind… I'll tell you some other time…"

He noticed she was still holding his hand and to his own surprise he didn't mind it at all. He squeezed her hand and as he did that he saw her face light up again. "Did ya really mean what ya just said?" he asked her softly. "Yes," she said, "every word of it…" For the first time in ages Hank blushed. "Ow, how cute!" she said with a grin on her face. "Don't ya start!" Hank warned her and then laughed. "So, you like rude men?" Hank asked her. "I never said that," she answered, "but I do like men who are… I don't know… different from the regular guy… I can't really define it… It's a certain charisma… Like the new English teacher!" Hank looked up. "New English teacher?" he asked. "Oh, don't worry… he won't be any competition for you," she said with a smile, "He's old enough to be my father! But he has a certain charisma… I don't know…"

Hank's mind was racing. Not because Elena had just admitted that she was attracted to another man, but because there was a stranger walking around at the art school… a man who could be John Kerrigan for all he knew. "What's his name?" he asked. "John Wilson," she answered, "Why?" she didn't understand why he wanted to know that, but then it hit her. "Oh no!" she exclaimed, "You don't think that he could be the man…" Hank didn't let her finish her sentence as he had already stood up. He threw some money on the table and practically run out of the restaurant. Elena had no choice but to follow him. _Please, don't let it be him!_ Hank thought as he run outside. _Please, let it be somebody else!_ He tried not to panic. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder… it was Elena. "Let's go," she said softly and he nodded. _Please let it be somebody else…_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sully sat on a chair with a book in his hand. He didn't feel like reading, but he wanted to keep himself busy until Hank came back. He had promised Hank to keep an eye on Zack, while Hank would go out to diner with the lovely Elena. Sully smiled. Hank had totally fallen for her; even a blind man would be able to see that. Hank had nervously told him that she had asked him out to diner and that he would love to go, but couldn't leave Zack alone. So Sully had offered to stay with Zack until Hank got back.

He looked over at Zack who was sound asleep in his bed. He looked so innocent and sweet. He just couldn't believe that anyone would want to hurt this young boy. He sighed and opened the book he held in his hands and after a few pages, he actually enjoyed reading it. He was so consumed by the story that he didn't hear the door open. Not until the very last moment he realized that someone else was in the room with him as well. He got up with a start and as he turned around he saw someone lash out at him. He tried to avoid the blow, but the person was able to hit him anyway. He lost his balance and fell on the ground. He tried to get up as fast as he could; however, he was too late. He felt a blow to the back of his head and his world went black…

"Sully!" Zack yelled. The noises of people fighting had woken him and the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was some stranger knocking Sully out. The stranger, however, had heard Zack's cry and was now making his move on him. Zack tried to get away, but it was of no avail. There was no place he could run to. "Don't you make a sound boy," the man said, "or I'll make sure none of you will survive…" The man spoke softly but Zack heard danger in every word he said. "Who… are y-you?" Zack asked. The man chuckled evilly. "I'm your worst nightmare..." he said as he grabbed a cloth from his left pocket and a tiny little bottle from his right. "We're going to play a little game with your father," he said as he put some liquid from the bottle on the cloth. He moved closer to Zack. "But first you're going to take a little nap…" he said and brought the cloth to Zack's face. Zack struggled as the man pressed the cloth against his nose. He tried to scream but then he smelled something strange. The smell made him lightheaded and then he surrendered to the blackness that followed… The man picked Zack up and carried him out of the room. "Well, well, Hank," John Kerrigan said softly, looking at the small boy in his arms, "Let the game begin…"

TBC

I'm sorry to have kept you waiting for so long, but there are many things going on in my life right now. But I haven't forgotten about this story! I just hope you haven't either… I'd like to thank everyone again for all the lovely reviews! You are great!


	5. Chapter 5

English is not my native language and I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes… I'm sorry! But if you want to apply for the job as my beta reader… Be my guest!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does… But I do own the character of Jonas "John" Kerrigan!

**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...

**Warnings:** This is NOT a very happy story! So, don't like… don't read... This story is the sequel to "Past Fears". If you haven't read that story I suggest you do that first. Otherwise this story won't make a lot of sense… I think…

**Summary: **Hank and Sully are traveling to Denver to make sure Zack is safe from John Kerrigan. But will Zack really be safe?

**Chapter 5**

"Zack!" Hank yelled as he burst into his son's room. "Zack!" he yelled again but there was no sign of him. "Where is he?" he called to Sully, who was still on the floor, recovering from the blow he took to the head. Hank, however, didn't seem to notice. Sully slowly got up from the floor. He was still a bit dizzy so he had to hold on to something, to prevent him from falling down again. "I'm sorry Hank," he said softly, "I didn't notice until it was to late… Someone knocked me out and when I came to Zack was already gone… I'm sorry…" Sully didn't know what else to say and neither did Hank. He was trying really hard to keep his cool as anger and panic were trying to overtake him.

"Did you see who it was?" Hank asked, fear evident in his voice. He already knew the answer to the question. Of course it had been John who took his boy; the real question now was: Where did they go? "I didn't get a good look at his face… but it had to be John… who else could it have been?" Sully said. He saw the worried look on Hank's face and felt guilty that he wasn't able to prevent it all from happening. "I remember him saying that he would play a game with you… hide and seek…" Sully continued, "My guess is that he went into the woods with him…" Hank nodded. He looked pleadingly at Sully. He'd never felt this helpless in his life. Sully put a hand on his shoulder. "We'll find him, okay?" he tried to convince Hank. "We're going to the forest and look for them." Hank clenched his jaw and nodded his head slowly.

Suddenly there was a knock on the already opened door. Both men turned their heads and saw Elena standing in the doorway. "I looked for the new English teacher," she said softly, "He's nowhere to be found… I'm so sorry…" She felt even worse than Sully did. She felt guilty about the fact that she let John Kerrigan / Wilson inside the school. She felt stupid that she had believed him, just like that! She should have asked questions… asked for identification records… or something… But the worst thing was that she had convinced Hank to go out to diner with her. She made him believe that Zack would be safe with Sully. And with that she had given John an opportunity to make his move on Zack… "I'm so sorry," she said again, her eyes filled with tears. "I should never have…" Hank didn't let her finish. "Don't. Ya. Say. It." His voice was gruff and low, and his eyes shot daggers at her.

"Hank," Sully interfered, "Let's go, okay? Elena, you stay here… just in case Zack comes back on his own…" He gave Elena a soft smile. He knew she felt guilty… so did he… But he also knew that Hank was feeling even more guilty and that, because of it, he was taking it out on her… Hank left the room without giving Elena a second look. "He doesn't mean it, Elena," Sully said to her softly, "And don't blame yaself for this… If someone is to blame, it's John Kerrigan…" She nodded at him as a tear slid down her cheek. "I'll wait here," she said as Sully walked away from her as well…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meanwhile, John had made it to the woods. He still held Zack's still form in his hands. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked himself. "I could just break your tiny little neck… and just get it all over with… Or I could torture you first… make you scream a little… hard enough for your dad to hear… and THEN break your neck," he mused. He laid the small boy on the ground and sat down next to it. "Maybe I should drown you… that's what your father did with my kids…" he chuckled at the thought. "What goes around, comes around!" he yelled into the darkness. Once more he looked at the young boy. "What to do, what to do…" he said softly as he leaned back against a tree, waiting for Zack to wake up…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Denver Art School_, Michaela read as she stood in front of a gate of a huge building. "This is the place!" she called to Jake. "Can I help you, sir, ma'am?" a man in uniform asked them. "Yes," Michaela said, "We're here to see a boy, Zack Lawson." The man nodded. "A very popular boy," the man murmured and opened the gate. Jake and Michaela nodded their thanks to the man and walked towards the enormous building. When they reached the door Michaela knocked on the door. The door was opened almost immediately by a young, beautiful woman.

"Hello?" she asked. Michaela could see that she obviously expected somebody else and that she was disappointed to see two strangers on the other side of the door. "Hello, I'm Dr. Michaela Quinn and this is Jake Slicker," she pointed at the man next to her, "We're looking for Zack Lawson… or maybe his father… We know he went to Denver to visit his son." Michaela's words obviously caught the young woman's attention. "You're friends with Zack's father?" she asked as she let Jake and Michaela inside. Michaela looked briefly at Jake before answering. "You could say that," Michaela said softly. "He should be here… together with Byron Sully…" The young woman's face fell. "I'm sorry," she said, "They're not here… I… I don't know whether to tell you this but… a man took Zack… Some very bad man…"

Jake swore under his breath. "Damn it, we're too late!" Michaela jumped at his words. Then she turned to the young woman in front of her. "Do you know where they went?" she asked softly. The woman nodded. "Sully said that they would probably go to the forest, so that's where Sully and Hank went to as well." The young woman looked carefully at the two strangers in front of her. "You two know something, don't you?" she asked. "Something that even Hank isn't aware of… Am I right?" Michaela sighed and then nodded. "They have no idea what they're up against," Michaela said, her face was dead serious. "Damn it!" the young woman swore, "follow me… I'll take you to the woods… You can fill me in on the way… Let's go!" Jake was a little stunned after the strong and commanding words of the beautiful woman in front of him. "Miss…" he started. "Elena," she interrupted him, "My name is Elena… Now come on, we have to hurry." She grabbed her coat and went outside. Jake and Michaela had no choice but to follow her…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Well, well… look who's awake," John said as Zack finally decided to open his eyes. "Took you long enough!" He pulled Zack up and dragged him along through the woods. "Wha… What… do you…w-want… with me?" Zack asked. John chuckled. "Like I told you before… I want to play a little game with your father…" He took big steps, which didn't make it easy for Zack to keep up with him.

"W-Why?" Zack asked. John stopped in his tracks. "Why?" he whispered dangerously at the young boy he held by his arm. "I'll tell you why! Because your father KILLED my children! And he's going to pay for that…" Zack shook his head in disbelief. "No!" he called out, "M-My father… would… never do… t-that!" John's eyes shot daggers at the boy. "Well, you better believe it, boy…" he said and pulled hard at Zack's arm. Zack winced in pain, but didn't scream out. "Now… don't you make a sound," he whispered as he kneeled down by a tree. "I want to hear your father scream out your name…" He moved his face closer to Zack's and laughed evilly at him. Zack shivered at the sound of it. _Please Pa! Please, get me out of here! I'm scared…_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hank and Sully wandered through the woods, hoping to find a sign of life from Zack. Sully looked for tracks while Hank looked around and listened as carefully as he could, hoping to catch a glimpse or a sound from Zack or John. "Zack!" Hank yelled suddenly. Sully looked up and eyed him questioningly. "What?" Hank spat, "Maybe he's already lying in the woods somewhere… bleeding… Hell… I don't know…" Hank sighed and shook his head. Sully looked at him, not really knowing what to say to the troubled man in front of him. He could only imagine what it would be like… Your child in the hands of a madman… "Don't think like that, Hank," he finally said, "You have to keep your hopes up… for Zack…" Hank nodded his head slowly. "If John hurts one hair on his body I'll kill him!" Hank suddenly called out and rushed by Sully to look for his son again. "That's the spirit," Sully said softly to himself and then followed Hank.

After half an hour Sully suddenly stopped in his tracks. "Ya hear that?" he whispered. Hank shook his head. "I heard something," Sully whispered again, "and I don't think it was an animal." Hank looked around carefully, but didn't see a thing. The only light they had was the moonlight, but they were in such a dark and deep part of the forest, that even the moonlight was no help to them. "Zack!" Hank yelled as loud as he could. Some birds were alarmed by the sound of his voice and both men could hear the birds flying between the leafs of the trees. After a few seconds everything was quiet again. Hank was about to yell Zack's name again, when he heard an annoying chuckle. It came from a distance, but it was close enough for both men to hear.

"Good evening Hans!" a voice said, a voice which Hank recognized as John's. "What do ya want John!" Hank yelled and again he heard the man chuckle. "I want to play a game of hide and seek with you, Hans!" John answered. "And we play by my rules… You have thirty minutes to find your son… When these thirty minutes are over… Well… I guess I have to get rid of him then… What do you say?" Hank looked at Sully and clenched his jaw. He didn't want to show how scared he was for his son, however, Sully looked shocked as well. "How do we know you haven't killed Zack already?" Sully called but there was no answer. Then they heard something else. "Pa!" It was Zack's voice. "Zack!" Hank called. "Did he hurt you?" As they spoke both men were trying to figure out where John was; where the sounds were coming from. "I haven't hurt him… YET!" John said. "But I will… Thirty minutes! They start now!" Then everything was quiet again.

Hank was feeling many different things all at the same time. He was angry, scared, worried and shocked. He looked at Sully and by the look at his face Hank could tell that he was feeling the same things as he did. "The sounds came from over there," Sully said and pointed his finger in the right direction. "Let's go then," Hank said softly. _Thirty minutes, _he thought… _Please let us make it… Please…_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

John looked at his watch. "Tick tack…" he said amused, "Time's almost up, boy…" He gave Zack an evil look and then chuckled again. Oh, how Zack hated that chuckle! It brought shivers down his spine. Zack sat on the ground near a bush. John had tied his hands and feet together and gagged him so he wouldn't make a sound. He followed John's every move and kept wondering what it was exactly that made John hate his father this much. He knew there was no way that his father had killed these children. But what did happen so many years ago? He had asked John, but he kept saying that Hank killed his children. Zack, however, hadn't bought it. One thing, however, was certain. John would definitely kill him, if his father wouldn't show up on time.

"Well, time's up!" John said after one last look at his watch. Zack felt his heart beat in his throat. John grabbed his bag and opened it. He was obviously looking for something. Zack didn't want to wait to find out what it was. He tried to get the rope from his feet and to his own surprise he was able to free himself. John was still busy looking inside his bag as Zack stood up slowly. He looked around, deciding which way would be the best direction to run to. He was about to make his move when he felt a hand grabbing him by the collar. "Oh no you don't…" John said, his voice low and dangerous. He pushed Zack back on the floor and grabbed the object he had been looking for from his bag. Zack's eyes grew wide when he saw what it was. It was one of the biggest knives he had ever seen. John chuckled at the sight. "And it's sharp too," he said as he pressed his thumb against the blade. His thumb began to bleed almost immediately. John moved closer to Zack and positioned himself above his struggling victim. _Pa! I love you Pa! God help me… _he thought as he saw the knife coming down…

TBC

Wow, I had lots and lots of inspiration when I wrote this one. Please let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

English is not my native language and I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes… I'm sorry! But if you want to apply for the job as my beta reader… Be my guest!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does… But I do own the character of Jonas "John" Kerrigan!

**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...

**Warnings:** This is NOT a very happy story! So, don't like… don't read... This story is the sequel to "Past Fears". If you haven't read that story I suggest you do that first. Otherwise this story won't make a lot of sense… I think…

**Summary: **Hank and Sully are traveling to Denver to make sure Zack is safe from John Kerrigan. But will Zack really be safe?

**Chapter 6**

Michaela and Jake followed Elena through the woods. She'd obviously been here before, as she seemed to know almost every path. "How do you know where to go?" Jake asked her. Elena just smiled. "I just know," she said with a laugh. Jake shook his head before tripping over a stump. He swore under his breath which caused both women to laugh at him. "I can't see a damn thing!" he said annoyed. "Well," Elena said, "if it makes you feel any better, we can't either!" She winked at him which brought a faint smile to Jake's face. Elena was about to walk further when Michaela grabbed her by the shoulder. "Shh…" she whispered, "Did you hear that?" Elena shook her head. They were all quiet for a moment. "I thought I heard a voice calling," Michaela said finally. "Well, I didn't hear anything," Jake answered. "That doesn't mean there isn't anything there," Elena said softly. They all started to walk again and followed the narrow path.

"Zack!" a voice called. They all stopped in their tracks. "I heard that one," Jake commented dryly. "Me too," Elena answered. "Well, it sounded nearby," Michaela said, "let's move on before we lose them again." Jake and Elena nodded in agreement. Michaela felt her heartbeat speed up. She was worried. She wondered what they were going to find; whether they'd find anything at all! _Let's hope we're not too late… _she thought and looked up at the sky. _Please, God, please don't let us be too late…_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hank practically ran through the woods to find his son. Sully had no choice but to follow him. He had tried to slow Hank down and to calm him down, but it had been of no avail. He thought about what he would do if one of his children would be in danger and he came to the conclusion that he would probably act the same, or even worse. He could see that Hank was close to panicking, which was a little odd to watch, because Hank never panicked. As long as he had known Hank, he had seen many different faces of the man. He had seen him angry, moody, humorous and even happy. But he had never seen him panicking. Well, maybe earlier this day when he found out that his son was taken by his worst enemy. He had been close to panicking at that moment.

Sully knew exactly what was causing Hank to panic right now. Even thought both men didn't have a watch, they both knew the thirty minutes John had given them were over. John had given them thirty minutes to find Zack. If they hadn't found him by then, he would _get rid of him…_ Sully thought about these exact words John had said to them. Would John really be capable of hurting a child? Does John hate Hank so much that he would kill Hank's boy? Sully shook his head in disbelief. In these last few days he had figured out that John was capable of many things, but would he really hurt or even kill a child? Hank, apparently, was sure of it.

Suddenly Hank stood still. "What's wrong?" Sully asked him and then followed Hank's gaze. He could see that the path they were walking on led to a clearing, which was just a few feet away from them. Sully knew what Hank was thinking. What if John had taken Zack there? And what if he had really hurt him? What horrible sight would greet them when they reached the clearing? Without saying anything Hank walked slowly in the direction of the open space in the forest. His heart pounded in his chest. His throat was dry and he started to sweat. The fear and worry he felt was overwhelming. He had never felt like this in his life which scared him even more. He finally reached the clearing which was lighted by the moonlight. Hank's eyes darted around, looking for anything that could be Zack or maybe John.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw something lying on the ground near a bush. It lay on the other side of the clearing. It was also covered with leafs, which almost caused Hank to miss it. Hank stared at the heap covered with leafs and silently prayed to God, begging that it was not what he thought it was. He slowly approached it and soon saw that it was a body lying on its side, with its back in Hank's direction. The closer Hank got to it the more his suspicions were confirmed. The body was too small to be John's and he soon recognized his son's clothes and hairstyle.

"Zack?" Hank said softly, his voice hoarse. Hank waited for an answer and his heart sank when he didn't get one. He slowly sat down on his knees behind the small form on the ground. He slowly raised his hand and grabbed the little person on the ground by his shoulder. He took a deep breath before slowly turning the body over on its back, so he could see the person's face. What he saw made his blood run cold. "No!" he tried to scream out, but it came out barely a whisper. He grabbed the little body tight and shook it. "No!" he tried again, his voice was still hoarse, but the word didn't come out as a whisper anymore. "NO!" he screamed as loud as he could as he realized that his son was dead…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"NO!" The loud and pain filled scream made Michaela, Jake and Elena stop dead in their tracks. They looked at each other in silence, worry evident on each face. "It came from over there," Elena said softly. She had recognized the voice and she feared for the man the voice belonged to. Michaela could see that the path they were walking on was leading to a clearing in the woods. She ran to it, Jake and Elena close behind her. As she reached the clearing she saw Hank on his knees with a small body in his arms. He shook it and pounded on its chest hoping it would suddenly move. Sully stood nearby. He obviously felt lost as he watched the saloon owner trying to bring his son back to life.

Michaela approached the two men slowly. "Hank?" she asked softly. He looked up at the sound of her voice. "Michaela…" he said softly, "Can… Can't ya do something?" he asked in a pain filled voice. He laid Zack's body softly on the ground, before the medicine woman, on his back. "Oh my God…" Michaela said and covered her mouth with her hand. Now that Zack was lying on his back in front of her, she could have a good look at him. And what she saw horrified her. There was blood everywhere: on the boy's clothes, his face and his hands. When she looked closely she saw what the source was of all the blood. Zack's throat had been cut and blood was pouring out of the enormous wound. She felt like she was going to be sick. She looked at Hank who was still looking at her pleadingly. "Can ya fix him?" he asked. His voice was soft, but also desperate. Michaela looked him in the eyes, tears burning in her own. "I'm so sorry…" she whispered as some tears fell on her cheeks.

Hank was quiet and looked at the lifeless body of his only son. Time seemed to go by in slow-motion. He felt so many things at once, it almost caused him to vomit. Then he took Zack's body in his arms again and hugged it as close as he could. He wasn't aware anymore of the people around him watching him. He didn't hear the sound of Michaela's sobs, nor did he feel Sully's hand on his shoulder. The only thing he was aware of was his dead son's body in his arms. Realization struck him that he would never see his son again, that he would never be able to watch him play, never be able to hold him again. Never again would he be able to tell his son how much he meant to him… how much he loved him… As all these thoughts tumbled around in his mind he started to sob. Softly at first, but soon he was sobbing uncontrollably.

Michaela looked at the distraught man in front of her. She had never seen Hank cry; she'd once even thought that he wasn't capable of crying… that he wasn't capable of showing any emotions of sadness at all. She thought the man was rude and harsh and arrogant. However, no matter the differences she had had with Hank in the past, the sight in front of her broke her heart. The man who was always so strong was now broken. She could only imagine what it would feel like to find your child murdered by a madman. Hank held on to Zack's body for dear life as sobs were still wracking his body. Michaela couldn't watch it any longer and felt the enormous need to comfort the man in front of her. She moved towards Hank and positioned herself behind him. Sully stepped back from Hank as he realized what she was going to do. She wrapped her arms around Hank and let her chin rest on his shoulder. He leaned back a little in her embrace. Together they cried…

Sully, Jake and Elena could only watch the pair in front of them. Each of them was lost in his or her own thoughts. Sully felt numb. The moment Hank had turned Zack's body over and he saw the blood everywhere, he had been at a loss for words. So John HAD been capable of hurting a child. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that ANYONE would be able to commit a crime like that. He would never forget the look on Hank's face when he realized his son had been murdered. The pain he saw in his eyes… the grief… the anger… the realization that he had lost his child. Sully knew exactly what it was like to lose a child. He had been through it himself. Only his daughter had died a natural death. Zack had been slaughtered. Sully felt anger building up inside of him. An innocent life had been taken! A CHILD had been murdered! How was he going to tell Brian? He vowed that if John Kerrigan would ever cross his path again, that he would pay…

Jake was angry as well. How could anyone do this to a child? How could anyone do this to a parent? He had felt his stomach turn when he saw the blood flowing from Zack's throat. He had almost run back into the woods to throw up, however, the sight of Hank falling apart in front of him had made him decide to stay. It was the least he could do for his friend. _Do I really see Hank as my friend? _He asked himself. _Yes I do… And I will make sure that John Kerrigan will never hurt him again…_

Elena stood next to Jake. She hadn't realized she'd been crying until Jake offered her a handkerchief. She felt so sorry for the man she loved. _Do I really love him? _She asked herself, but she already knew the answer. _Yes I do…_ She also felt guilty. _What if I hadn't asked him out to diner? Then this would never have happened! _Again tears fell from her eyes. She grieved, for Zack and his father. _I'm so sorry Zack… But I'm going to help your father… He WILL get through this! I won't leave him alone…_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

From a distance John Kerrigan was watching. He had seen the whole scene, from Hank's arrival at the clearing until the moment he broke down. Finally he'd had his revenge. He had broken the man he hated so much. He had hurt him the way Hank had hurt him so many years ago. He looked at the broken man on the ground. He looked at him, his eyes full with hatred. _I hope it hurts Hans… I hope it hurts so much that you won't have a reason to live anymore… I hope it kills you… Saves me the trouble… _He gave Hank one last look before he walked away into the dead of the night. _Until we meet again…_

TBC

See that blue button over there… it's next to "Submit review"… Please hit it (not me!)! I'm dying to know what you think of this chapter! Okay… bad choice of words…


	7. Chapter 7

English is not my native language and I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes… I'm sorry! But if you want to apply for the job as my beta reader… Be my guest!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does… But I do own the character of Jonas "John" Kerrigan!

**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...

**Warnings:** This is NOT a very happy story! So, don't like… don't read... This story is the sequel to "Past Fears". If you haven't read that story I suggest you do that first. Otherwise this story won't make a lot of sense… I think…

**Summary: **Hank and Sully are traveling to Denver to make sure Zack is safe from John Kerrigan. But will Zack really be safe?

First of all, I'd like to apologize to everyone who was shocked by the previous chapter. I've thought long about how I wanted the story to evolve and finally I decided that I wanted to write something different. Of course, I could have let Hank and Sully save the day… and everyone lived happily ever after… that kind of stuff, but I'm sorry, that's just not my style. These kinds of stories have been done a million times. I just wanted to write something different… well… at least I hope it's a bit different. Anyway, I hope I haven't scared off too many readers! A special thank you to everyone who reviewed. It's good to know that there are at least five people who will continue reading my story! I love you! Well, on tot the next chapter…

**Chapter 7**

Hank sat at a table in the back of his saloon. He stared at the table, so it appeared, but he didn't really saw anything. It had been ten days since Zack's death; his funeral was exactly a week ago. He didn't remember much of the last 10 days. The only thing that was very clear to him was that his son had been murdered by John Kerrigan and that he would never get him back. He felt numb. He had been feeling that way for over a week now. He couldn't cry anymore, he didn't feel like talking, in fact, he couldn't care less about anything anymore. He remembered that Elena and Sully had tried to talk to him. That he couldn't just give up on his own life, that he couldn't let John win. It hadn't impressed him; he just didn't care anymore…

Elena had traveled back with them to Colorado Springs. She couldn't leave Hank alone, so she decided to be there for him and to take care of him. It's a good thing that she did, because Hank had lost all interest in his own life and his business. He only ate or drank something when Elena told him to. She was the one who kept his business running, with a little help from Jake and Matthew. However, the worst thing was, she thought, that Hank didn't speak to anyone anymore. No matter what she asked him or what she said to him, he never answered. He just sat there at the table, staring at something (or nothing)… Several had tried, Sully, Jake, Michaela, even Grace had tried to get through to him, but he never moved, never spoke…

He remembered the last time he had spoken. It had been on the day of Zack's funeral. The reverend had said some beautiful things during the service. The words had even made him cry a little. Afterwards everyone could get something to drink and eat at Grace's Café. He didn't want to go there but Elena had told him it would be the least he could do for those who had supported him the last few days. So he had gone there, accepting everyone's condolences, drinking some coffee… He had felt terrible! Everyone told him how sorry they were and that if there was anything they could do, they would be there for him. It never made him feel better, in fact, he felt worse by the minute. Then Horace had approached him. "I… I don't really know what to say…" he had said softly, "but everything will be alright… you'll see!" The words had cut through Hank's heart like a knife. "How dare ya…" Hank had answered in a low voice. "How dare ya say that everything will be alright…" he had continued, his blood boiling with anger. "My son is dead, Horace! Dead! Slaughtered! It will never be alright! Never again!" He had yelled at Horace, cursed him in every way he knew. If Sully hadn't stopped him, he would have knocked Horace down. "Let go of me!" he had yelled at Sully. Then he had turned around and left. "Leave me alone…" had been his last words…

Of course Horace had meant well, it just hadn't come out right… has it ever? Hank never liked Horace, though he knew the man meant well. It had just hurt his ego when Myra left him, the toughest guy in town, for Horace, the biggest geek in town. But right now, even that particular little fact couldn't bother him anymore. It didn't matter anymore… NOTHING mattered anymore…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elena was serving some drinks when Sully walked into the saloon. "Hey Sully!" she greeted him. He gave her a little nod and looked over at Hank who was still sitting at a table in the back, alone. "Still no change?" he asked Elena. She shook her head sadly. "No, he seems to have lost all interest…" Sully sighed. "He doesn't even seem to care about his saloon anymore," he said softly. "I try to get through to him every day… it's like he doesn't hear me anymore," Elena said as she walked to an empty table and sat down at it. She looked tired and sad. "Are you sure ya can handle this?" Sully asked concerned, "Ya look tired…" She smiled. "I'm fine," she said, "Jake and Matthew help me from time to time… And believe me, it's not the saloon that makes me tired…" she looked over at Hank and shook her head again. "I don't know what to do with him anymore…"

Sully looked at her, and then he looked back at Hank. He thought long before saying: "Have ya tried the hard approach yet?" He looked back at Elena who gave him a questioning look. "What do you mean?" she asked him. "Well, obviously just talking to him doesn't work, so maybe we have to approach him differently…" Sully said softly. Elena looked at him in shock. "You don't want to use violence on him, do you?" she asked, almost angrily. "Of course not," Sully answered, "well, not much anyway… The point is, Elena, he has to snap out of this. He can't go on like this for the rest of his life! Then John will definitely have won…" Elena listened to Sully's words and nodded. "You are right," she said, "but I can't hurt him… What's your plan anyway?" Sully looked briefly at Hank again. "Well, I used to be like him… once upon a time," Sully started, "when I lost my wife and daughter… I didn't care about anything either… until someone decided that I needed to open my eyes en get on with my life again… He showed me the hard way… If someone doesn't want to listen… maybe you have to make him feel…"

They were both quiet for a while. "You're not going to hurt him real bad, are you?" Elena asked worriedly. Sully smiled. "Not physically," he said, "but he won't like what I'm going to say to him." He looked around. There weren't too many people around, but still, he'd rather approach Hank in an empty saloon. "Can ya get rid of these people for a little while?" he asked Elena. She smiled. "Non problemo," she answered and clapped her hands. "I'm sorry gentlemen, but we are closing up for an hour or so… I promise if you all leave nicely you'll get a free drink when you get back…" she gave the men her loveliest smile and to Sully's surprise everyone got up and left without making any fuss. "You're good," he said. "I know," she said cheekily, "Now you show me how good you are… I want my man back." Sully nodded at her. "This can get ugly, you know," he said softly. "I know," she answered but she had no intention to leave.

Sully looked at the quiet, sad man in the back of the saloon. He took a deep breath before finally approaching him. He sat down opposite Hank and looked him in the eyes. "Hey Hank," he said but there was no reply. He was quiet for a moment, thinking about how he should continue. He didn't really want to hurt Hank, but the man couldn't sit at this table for the rest of his life, could he? He still had a life to live, with a beautiful young woman. "Don't you get tired of sitting here Hank?" Again there was no answer. "Guess not," Sully said, more to himself. "I wonder what Zack would say if he saw you like this," Sully continued. He watched Hank closely; hoping to see some movement in his eyes, some change in his features… there wasn't any. _Damn it Hank,_ Sully thought, _don't make me do this… _"I think he would be embarrassed to see his father like this," he said as he moved closer to Hank. He never lost eye contact. "Sitting here, all alone, every damn day, feeling sorry for himself… While he could live a life, a life Zack can't live anymore…" Sully knew he was on thin ice here, but he had to get Hank out of his trance. As he spoke he saw Hank clenching his fists… he knew he had hit a nerve… _Come on Hank, snap out of it… _"Are you feeling guilty, Hank? You think his death was your fault, don't ya?" Sully saw that Hank's temper was rising. _Yes! Go on… get angry, get mad… let it out! "_Of course it was your fault Hank! The man who killed him was your stepfather! If you hadn't known him, he would never have gotten to Zack! If you hadn't gone out to dinner with Elena, he would never have had the chance to grab Zack! Then Zack would never have been taken to these dark woods… would never have felt scared and most importantly, John would never have been able to cut his throat… It must hurt to know that YOU are, in fact, responsible for your son's death… Zack probably knows that too now… He must hate you so much… He…"

Sully didn't get the chance to finish his sentence. Elena had already seen it coming. Hank grabbed the table and shoved it into Sully's chest as hard as he could. The impact made Sully loose his balance and he fell on the ground. "SHUT UP!" Hank roared. "SHUT THE HELL UP!" he grabbed Sully by the collar and dragged him from the floor to the wall. With all his strength he pulled Sully back to his feet and pushed him against the wall. "Don't ya EVER speak that way about my boy again! I swear to God, I kill ya where ya stand!" His eyes shot daggers at Sully, but Sully wasn't impressed. "Does it make ya feel better, Hank?" he yelled back at him. "Do you really think that Zack would want you to waste your life like this?" he pushed Hank away from him. "Shut up!" Hank yelled back. "No I won't!" Sully said. "You are letting John win! He killed Zack for his own revenge… to ruin YOU! You are letting him succeed! Is that what ya want? I'm pretty sure that it's NOT what Zack would have wanted!" Hank looked at him dangerously. "I'm warning ya Sully… Don't ya even dare say his name!" Sully, however, continued. "You still have so much to live for! Don't throw that away… Zack's death would have been for nothing if you throw it all away!" Sully never saw it coming. Before he knew it Hank's fist connected with his eye and he was out on the floor. "Sully!" Elena called out and hurried to the man who was lying out cold on the floor. Hank looked at them. He was quiet again. He looked miserable; it was as if his mind had finally caught up with him and his actions… "I'm sorry," he said quietly before rushing out of the saloon. "Hank!" Elena called after him, but it was too late.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It took Sully a few minutes to get rid of the dizziness, but he finally was able to get back on his feet again. "Here's some ice," Elena said and handed him towel filled with ice. "Ow…" he muttered as he put it on his eye. "Hurts, huh?" Elena said with a grin. Sully laughed at her. "Well, at least it got him to talk again," he said. Elena shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, and to run off to God knows where… It's not making me feel any better…" she said softly. Sully was about to answer when the door opened. Jake entered the saloon. "Hey Jake!" Elena called to him. "Hey…" he answered, "Uh… I don't know whether you've noticed… but Hank took off... he got onto a horse and rode away like a madman." Elena sighed. "Yes, we know," she answered miserably. "Well, shouldn't we go after him?" Jake continued, "because the way he looked when he got onto that horse… I'm afraid he might do something to himself!" Elena turned to Sully with a panicked look on her face. "Oh no…" Sully said, "It's my fault… I shouldn't have said…" he didn't finish his sentence. Jake however was curious now. He also noticed Sully's eye and figured that there must have been a fight between Sully and Hank. "What the hell did you say to him?" he asked Sully, anger obvious in his voice. "It doesn't matter now," Sully said, "We have to find him… and fast!" Although Jake was still curious to know what had happened between Hank and Sully, he decided that it could wait… the wellbeing of his friend was more important right now. "I'll get a search party together," he said and walked out of the saloon. "Elena," Sully said, "I want you to warn Dr. Mike!" Elena nodded as Sully was walking towards the door. "Wait! What are you going to do?" she asked Sully. "Trying to find Hank," he answered, "I hope I'll find him before the search party does…" Elena nodded again. "Good luck!" she called after him. _I have the feeling you're going to need it…_

TBC

I'm sorry it took so long! I hope you still like it! Please let me know…


	8. Chapter 8

English is not my native language and I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes… I'm sorry! But if you want to apply for the job as my beta reader… Be my guest!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does… But I do own the character of Jonas "John" Kerrigan!

**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...

**Warnings:** This is NOT a very happy story! So, don't like… don't read... This story is the sequel to "Past Fears". If you haven't read that story I suggest you do that first. Otherwise this story won't make a lot of sense… I think…

**Summary: **Hank and Sully are traveling to Denver to make sure Zack is safe from John Kerrigan. But will Zack really be safe?

A big thank you to everyone who reviewed en read this story! My first story "Past Fears" has been read about 1800 times! Isn't that cool? Well, I think it is… Keep on reading!

**Chapter 8**

_Damn him! Damn you, Sully! Why did he have to say these things? Why… _Hank's mind was racing. His mind kept repeating Sully's words over and over again. _I wonder what Zack would say if he saw you like this… _I _think he would be embarrassed to see his father like this… _Hank practically ran through the woods as Sully's words kept hunting him. He had gotten off is horse a while ago, but he had forgotten why and most importantly, where? He had no idea where he was, however, he couldn't care less about it. He just wanted to get away from the pain he was feeling. The feeling of guilt that was hunting him. _Are you feeling guilty, Hank? You think his death was your fault, don't ya? Of course it was your fault Hank! Of course it was your fault! _The words cut him like a knife. His heart broke every time he heard the words in his mind.

_It IS my fault! _He thought as he blindly made his way through the forest. He stumbled a few times over rocks and stumps and got some cuts on his arms and face as he rushed closely by branches of trees and shrubs. He didn't seem to notice… He kept running, even when he finally made his way out of the woods. _My son is dead because of me! It's my fault! It's my fault!_ Anger and grief were building inside of him and were desperately searching for a way out. Tears were burning in his eyes and he felt the overwhelming need to scream out his pain and anger… and especially his grief. Again he stumbled over something while he was running down a hill, but this time he fell on the ground. He tumbled off the hill; his body coming to a halt at the foot of the hill. Hank cursed as loud as he could. He got up from the floor and looked around for something he could hit or kick. He felt miserably. At this point it couldn't get any worse. He had never felt this bad in his life and he hated it. He didn't know what to do with all these feelings. How to deal with them… how to deal with the fact that his son was dead.

He felt tears running down his cheeks. It burned as the salty tears found there way into the small cuts on his face. He shook his head. Just how deep had he sunk? He used to be the toughest guy in town. No one messed with Hank Lawson, everyone knew that! And here he was, in the middle of God knows where, crying like a baby. _Damn you Sully! _He thought again. If Sully had just shut up… He walked away from the hill, towards something that looked like the edge of a cliff. He moved a few feet closer and then his suspicions were confirmed. _Damn everyone!_ He walked closer to the edge… _It would be so easy…_ He looked down to what would be a drop of at least one hundred feet. There were trees and a lot of big rocks lying around. _It would be so easy to just… _he was ripped out of his thoughts as he felt the ground move underneath him. He heard the sound of stones and rocks falling down. _What the… _Before he actually realized what was happening, the ground underneath him gave way…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Hank, where are you? _Sully thought as he searched the woods for the man in question. Sully knew he had upset the man, but it had never been his intention to hurt Hank so badly that he might kill himself. Sully shivered at the thought. Suicide wasn't like Hank. He knew Hank would never intentionally hurt himself. The man valued his life! At least, he used to… Could it be possible that the man had fallen so deep, that he had been hurt so badly, that he didn't even cared about his own life anymore? _I felt that way once… _Sully's mind wandered back to the time when he lost Abigail and his daughter. _Yeah, I felt that way… Could it be possible that Hank felt like that right now?_ He needed to find Hank fast, that was for sure…

Sully followed the tracks he had found earlier, when he had found Hank's horse. He wasn't sure the tracks were Hank's but at least it was something to hold on to. The tracks were leading out of the woods and Sully had to swallow hard as he realized where the tracks were going. He knew there was a cliff at the other side of the hill. _Oh no, Hank…_ Sully sped up his pace and almost ran up the hill. When he reached the highest point he looked around, hoping to get a glimpse of the man he was looking for. He didn't see anyone… He slowly walked down the hill, his heart beating in his throat. There were some bushes growing near the cliff, which were blocking his view a little bit. Suddenly he saw someone sitting on the ground, near the edge of the cliff…

"Hank?" Sully asked softly to the man in front of him. "Hey Sully…" Hank said quietly. He didn't look at Sully; he just kept his gaze fixed on the ground. Sully moved closer to him and sat down next to him. "Hank…" Sully started, "I wanted to say that I'm sorry… I didn't mean those things I said to ya." Hank shook his head. "Yes, ya did," Hank answered. "No," Sully continued, "It wasn't true! It wasn't your fault… "Hank sighed. "I know…" he said. Sully looked at the man next to him. He was a mess! His face was covered with cuts and judging from the blood on his shirt, there were cuts on the rest of his body as well. "Are you okay?" Sully asked concerned. Hank sighed deeply. "I honestly don't know…" he replied and for the first time he looked up and looked Sully in the eye.

They were quiet for a while. Sully just didn't know what to say to the man sitting next to him. Hank, however, just didn't feel like talking at all. Eventually Sully decided to break the silence. "Hank… just out of curiosity… were you going to jump?" Sully expected Hank to get angry, but to his surprise he laughed. It wasn't a laugh out of bitterness or grief, but just a genuine laugh. One he hadn't heard from Hank in a long time. "I was going to…" Hank said eventually. "What stopped ya?" Sully asked him. Hank laughed again softly before answering. "I was standing on the edge, I looked down and realized it would be so easy to just jump off and get it all over with… But before I knew it, the ground gave way underneath me… I knew I was going to fall and right at that very moment I realized that I didn't want to die…" Hank was quiet for a moment. He looked at Sully who was listening to him carefully. "You were right Sully," Hank continued, "I still have so much to live for… there are so many things that I still want to do… so many things that I want… I can't give it all up now… It wouldn't be right… It wouldn't be fair… not to me or to Zack… or to Elena…" Again he looked at Sully who gave him a reassuring smile.

"I know I still have a long way to go… I can't just put all this aside and go on like nothing has happened… But I'll try," Hank said softly. "Don't be afraid to ask for help once in a while, Hank" Sully said and put an arm on his shoulder. "How did you do it, Sully?" Hank asked, "Will the pain ever go away?" Sully sighed and looked away for a moment. "The pain will never go away, Hank… But it will become less… in time…" Sully answered, "And if ya ever need someone to talk to… to someone who understands what you're going through… ya know where to find me… And don't let your pride get in the way this time… Go against your nature for once…" Hank chuckled. "Damn, I hate it when people know how to figure me out…" he said with a small grin on his face. "Does that mean ya hate Elena too?" Sully asked. Hank shook his head and sighed. "I just can't figure her out… She looks at me and she knows exactly what I'm thinking… One look and she knows exactly what kind of person I am... It kind of scares me…" "Do ya love her?" Sully asked him. Hank shrugged and stood up slowly. "I don't know," he said softly, "I'm not really good at all that 'love stuff'… Myra once said to me that I don't know what love is… maybe she was right…"

Sully decided to stand up as well. "Hank," he started, "If you don't give it a try you'll never know… And what I do know is that Elena loves you…" Hank looked at Sully a little unsure. "Really?" he asked softly. "Really…" Sully answered. "I don't know if I can…" Hank started but didn't finish his sentence. Sully knew Hank loved Elena; even a blind man could see that. But he also knew that Hank was a man who didn't knew much about love, at least, that's what the man thought. It was also obvious that Hank didn't want to get hurt again. His heart had already been broken and he didn't want that to happen again any time soon. But to Sully it wasn't a reason to give up on love… especially when, for once, true love was within Hank's reach. Sully looked Hank in the eye and said: "Come with me, there's something you should see…"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It had been a long way back to town. Hank could hardly believe the distance he had traveled. _Man, I had really lost it! _Though he was still grieving for his son, he did feel better. _Thanks to Sully and the edge of a cliff…_ Hank grinned. "What's so funny?" Sully asked. "Nothin'…" Hank said, "Just feeling better." Sully smiled. "I was wondering," Sully said, "How did you save yourself up on that cliff? When the ground gave way…" "I was able to grab a big branch… Pulled myself up… I don't remember much… It all went so fast… I guess I was lucky," Hank answered. "Or maybe ya had a little 'afterlife help'…" Sully said raising his eyebrows. Hank just chuckled and shook his head.

Instead of going to town, Sully took Hank to the homestead first. "No offense Sully, but the last person I want to see right now is the posh lady doctor from Boston…" Hank said. Normally Sully would be offended but this time the remark brought a smile to Sully's face. Hank started to act like Hank again. "She ain't here Hank," Sully replied, "She's at the clinic… And no offense, but that's where we are going next… You need someone to look at these cuts… They might be infected…" Hank murmured something unintelligible, before following Sully into the homestead. "Then why are we here?" Hank asked. "Like I said, I want to show ya something," Sully said as he grabbed a big box that was standing in the corner.

"I've kept Zack's stuff for ya after… you know…" Sully started, "Most of the things are drawings, of course… I thought you would like to have it." Hank looked at the box and again he got overwhelmed by emotions. "Sully…" he said softly not knowing what to say next. Sully took one of the drawings and gave it to Hank. "This was the last drawing he made…" Sully said, "He made it the night he… the night you went out to dinner with Elena." Hank looked at the drawing and swallowed hard. It showed him and Elena. They were holding hands and they smiled at each other. It took his breath away. "Zack knew then already, Hank," Sully continued, "He could see how much you liked her… Ya know what he said to me?" Hank shook his head, but didn't say a word. "I hope we can be a family one day…" Sully said, quoting Zack's words. "I would love to have Elena as my mother… and I think she would make my father very happy… I want him to be happy…" Hank felt tears running down his cheeks again. He clenched his jaw; he didn't want to break down right now.

Sully squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "Don't give up on love, Hank," Sully said to him. "Zack wouldn't want you to…" Hank nodded and smiled. Sully handed him a wet cloth. "Here, clean your face, we're going to see the posh lady doctor from Boston…" Hank grinned. "I bet ya never say that straight to her face," Hank teased. "No, I don't have a death wish or anything like that," Sully answered, "Besides, I've got you to say all these things to her." Hank shook his head in amusement. Sully was already making his way outside when Hank called out to him. "Sully," Sully turned around and looked at Hank. The grin had faded, but there was a soft genuine smile on his face. "Thanks…" Sully nodded at him and smiled back. Then both men went outside and got onto their horses to visit Dr. Mike.

_And after that I'm going to make a start with picking up my life again… starting with a beautiful Spanish woman called Elena… _The thought alone brought a smile to Hank's face…

TBC

Okay! Well, isn't that a bit better? After all the drama and tragedy a happier chapter! Hope you like it! R&R Please!


	9. Chapter 9

English is not my native language and I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if there are spelling or grammar mistakes… I'm sorry! But if you want to apply for the job as my beta reader… Be my guest!

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I do not own the characters of "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman"… One Beth Sullivan does… But I do own the character of Jonas "John" Kerrigan!

**Rating:** I don't know anything about these ratings, but let's say T or PG-13. Just to be safe...

**Warnings:** This is NOT a very happy story! So, don't like… don't read... This story is the sequel to "Past Fears". If you haven't read that story I suggest you do that first. Otherwise this story won't make a lot of sense… I think…

**Summary: **Hank and Sully are traveling to Denver to make sure Zack is safe from John Kerrigan. But will Zack really be safe?

**Chapter 9**

Michaela shook her head as she watched Hank leave her clinic. She had treated his cuts en had checked him for other injuries. While she had been doing that he had made some sarcastic remarks and had even insulted her a couple of times! And he had done it all with a huge grin on his face… She couldn't help but smile. Hank Lawson was starting to act like his old self again, and for the first time in her life she was glad that he did.

"He's on his way back, isn't he?" Sully interrupted her thoughts. "Yes, he is," Michaela said with a smile, "What happened, Sully? This morning he was still a grieving father! Now he's all happy and back to his old self again." Sully smiled at her. "He's still a grieving father, Michaela," Sully answered, "And he's not completely himself again. He's trying to pick up his life and it will take time to get his life back on track."

"What did you say to him?" Michaela asked. Sully sighed. "Nothing I care to repeat," he answered, "Let's just say I talked some sense into him… Showed him some things he needed to see…" He looked Michaela straight in the eyes. "You showed him Zack's drawings," she said softly. Sully nodded. "I gave them to him… They're his anyway…" Michaela smiled at Sully. "I'm sure he was grateful… Is he going to talk to Elena?" she asked him. "I hope so," Sully replied, "He would be the stupidest man on earth if he didn't…" Michaela had to laugh. "Sully, we're talking about Hank here…" Sully had to laugh as well. "Well, we'll find out soon enough," he said, putting his arms around Michaela. "Besides, it ain't our business… Let's just stick to our own…" He looked at her cheekily and then kissed her gently. "I love you," he whispered to her. "I love you too, Sully…" she whispered back.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hank couldn't believe what he was seeing when he entered the saloon. The place was a mess! People were shouting at each other, some were fighting. Hank had to duck when he saw a bottle of whisky coming his way. Elena was desperately trying to make everyone stop fighting, but it was of no avail. Hank felt anger building up inside of him. This was the last thing he needed right now. A riot in HIS saloon! He wanted to talk to his woman somewhere peace and quiet. Why did everyone keep interrupting his plans?

"Hey!" he bellowed and grabbed two fighting men by their collars. "Knock it off!" The sound of his voice seemed to make a huge impression at the fighting crowd, because everyone was immediately silent. "I hope we can just talk about this like true gents," Hank said in a low, gruff voice, "if not… then let's take it outside… I'm really in the mood to punch somebody's lights out." He gave the men his most dangerous look. Most men sat back at their tables immediately. They knew the look on Hank's face all too well. Any man would be an idiot to take on Hank when he was in such a mood.

When everything seemed to turn back to normal Hank approached Elena, who was standing behind the bar again, serving drinks. She had watched the exchange between Hank and the crowd and she was glad that he got everything back under control. She was also glad that he seemed to be talking again. In fact, he almost acted like his old self again! A feeling of relief had washed over her when he walked back into the saloon. Jake's words had hunted her all day. _I'm afraid he might do something to himself! _All day she had wondered whether Hank would be capable of hurting himself. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this worried about someone. It also made her realize that she was indeed madly in love with Hank. She loved him dearly and the idea that she could loose him forever terrified her.

"Elena?" Hank said when he stood in front of her. "Hank!" Elena answered with a smile. "I'm so glad you're alright!" She spoke softly, almost shyly. "Yeah, me too," Hank said, "I need to talk to ya." Elena looked at him in disbelief. "Hank, look around, the place is crowded! We can't just leave!" Hank grinned at her. "Yes we can," he said, "Ask one of the girls to fill in for ya… Besides, we won't be far…" He pointed to the stairs which led to the first floor of the saloon and Hank's own room. Elena quickly called one of the girls, gave her some instructions and then followed Hank up the stairs.

Inside Hank's room she sat down on a chair, while Hank paced the room, wondering what to say to her. "Hank?" Elena asked, "You said you wanted to talk… well… talk!" Hank stood still the moment she spoke. He turned around to face her. "I don't know where to start," he said softly. Elena just smiled at him. "Okay…" Hank started, "First of all I want to say I'm sorry… for the way I've been treating ya lately…" Elena looked at Hank questioningly. "I don't think I understand what you mean," she answered, "You we're in some kind of shock… or something… you haven't treated me badly… you weren't able to do anything at all!" Hank sighed. "That's exactly my point!" he said miserably. "You had to take care about everything! Me, the saloon… you had to leave your own job behind, the children, everything ya care about so much! I shouldn't have asked that from you…" Elena shook her head. "No Hank, you couldn't help it…" she stood up and walked towards him. "Besides, you never asked these things from me… I offered them to you… I did these things because I wanted to… because I care about you…" As she spoke she moved closer to him. She grabbed his hand and brought it to her face. "I did it all because I love you…" she finally said.

Hank closed his eyes. He couldn't believe what she had just said to him. She loved him! She told him that she loved him! But did he love her back? "Elena," he said softly, "I like ya, I really do… but I'm not sure that I love you… I… I don't know anything about love… relationships… I always seem to mess things up!" He let go of her hand and started to pace around the room again. "I know I'm not easy… I shout, I yell, I've got a nasty temper… I don't want you to get hurt because of my idiocy." Elena had to laugh at the last remark. Hank stopped pacing and looked at her incredulously. "What?" he asked. "Oh nothing," she said with a smile, "Hank, We've been through this before, remember? We've talked about this at the restaurant. I already know these things about you and I still want to be with you! Hank, if I didn't want to give this a try, I wouldn't be here!" Hank listened to her beautiful words, but didn't say anything. Again she took his hand into hers. "I know you still have a long way to go," she continued, "and I know some days will be harder then others, but I KNOW we can make each other happy…" She looked him straight in the eyes. Hank looked into hers and saw that she meant every word of it. "And I know as well that people will call you an IDIOT if you let me go!" she said with a mischievous look on her face. Hank had to laugh at that. "I hope ya know what yer getting yerself into," he said with a grin on his face. She squeezed his hand gently. "I already know," she said softly before kissing him gently on his cheek.

"Hank?" Elena asked him, "I promised Grace to have breakfast at her café tomorrow morning. I'd really like you to come with me…" Hank looked at her and smiled. "I'd love to," he answered, "but there's something I have to do first… I'll be there a little later…" She nodded at him. "What is it that you have to do?" she asked. "I need to talk to someone who hasn't seen me in while…" he said quietly, wrapping his arms around Elena, "I need to tell him that I'm alright…"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hank stood up early the next day. He didn't want to be too late at Grace's, but he also wanted to have enough time for the thing that he needed to do. For the person he wanted to visit… He left the saloon and walked in the direction of the church. It was quiet outside. Most people were probably still asleep. He passed by the church and walked in the direction of the graveyard. When he was almost there he stopped. He swallowed when he saw the grave he wanted to visit. He approached it slowly.

"Hey son," he said softly as he finally reached his sons grave. "I'm sorry I didn't visit ya before… I was kinda out of it…" Hank looked around, not wanting anyone to hear what he had to say. As he saw that there was no one else around, he sat down on the ground. "I'm so sorry Zack," he continued, "I'm so sorry for what happened to ya… I should have protected you… Should have made sure that he couldn't get to ya…" Hank sighed. "I know it wasn't really my fault… but I can't help thinking that it was…" Hank closed his eyes and was quiet for a while. "I saw ya drawings… They're beautiful… I know ya wanted to have a family… a mom and a dad… maybe some brothers and sisters… I wanted to give ya that Zack… I wanted you to have a family… And I wanted to be a good father to ya… Now I will never be able to…" Hank felt tears welling up in his eyes. "I will not let him win Zack! I know I will never get ya back, but I will not give him the satisfaction of ruining my life! One day I will find him… and I swear on your grave, he will get what he deserves! I promises ya boy… John Kerrigan will not get away with this…" With these words he stood up and looked around again. There was still no one around. "Tell ya mom I said hello," he said before walking to Grace's Café…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was going to be a busy morning for Grace. Before she knew it her café was so crowded that she had to send people away, because she simply didn't have room for them anymore. People were happily eating their breakfast and talked to one another about the latest events in town. In this case it meant that most people were talking about Hank and his remarkable recovery. "What did you say to him Sully?" Dorothy asked. Sully sighed. The question had been asked to him about a million times already, however, he never really gave people an answer. It wasn't any of their business. No one needed to know what cruel things he had to say to Hank to get him talking again… to get him to live again. So he sticked to his usual answer: "Just talked some sense into him…"

Loren shook his head. "Well, it must be something! The man was a mess! Didn't eat or talk… and suddenly he's there again… back to his old self… yelling and fighting… making fun of people again!" Grace served him some coffee. "I was actually getting used to the peace and quiet," she said softly, "now I have to get used to his whining and sarcastic remarks again!" Robert E had to laugh. "Oh come on Grace," he said, "you told me yourself that you missed those remarks!" Grace looked at her husband incredulously. "Well I never!" she exclaimed. "Oh, it's okay Grace," Michaela backed her up, "I never thought I would say it, but I've missed them too." She smiled softly at Grace. "Me too," Myra called from the other side of the café, "This town just ain't the same without Hank being Hank…" Everyone seemed to agree with that statement.

"What I just don't understand, is that he let's this John Kerrigan get away with it," Loren said. "Just leave him be, Loren," Jake said, "I think he's got other things on his mind right now." Loren shook his head at Jake's comment. "No," Loren continued, "I mean it's not like Hank! He would never let a guy like that get away with murder!"

"He won't get away," a familiar gruff voice interrupted. Everyone looked up to see Hank standing at the entrance. Everyone was quiet. "I promise, on my son's grave, that John Kerrigan will not get away with what he did to my son," Hank continued, "He will pay for it… Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow… But one day he will…" He looked at the crowd dangerously. Then he looked at Grace and said: "Ya got some coffee, woman?" he winked at her and then approached Elena's table. He smiled at her and sat down next to her. "Good morning," she said to him. "Morning," he answered her. "So, are you going to tell me what it was that you had to do this morning?" she asked softly. He smiled at her. "I visited my son," he replied. Elena said nothing. She just kept looking at him, hoping he would continue. "I made him a promise…" Elena nodded. "What kind of promise?" she asked. Hank was quiet for a while. He nodded at Grace when she served him his coffee. He grabbed the cup and took a sip. "I promised him that everything will be alright… We'll be alright…"

The End?

Well, this was the last chapter of this story! Hope you all liked it! I've been a little ill lately, but I wanted to finish this story. I hope I did a good job. There will be a final story to this trilogy. It will be called "To the Woman that I Love" and it will be the story in which John Kerrigan will be dealt with! At least, I hope so… sometimes stories seem to be writing it selves. R & R please!


End file.
